


Betrayed by sunrise

by RomanticNoldo



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Love Triangle, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23811610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanticNoldo/pseuds/RomanticNoldo
Summary: A traitor's thoughts.
Relationships: Idril Celebrindal/Maeglin | Lómion
Kudos: 12





	Betrayed by sunrise

It wasn't even dawn when you started feeling the joy in the air around you. Everyone was waiting for that moment of life and prosperity. You could see their smiles, hear their excited voices.

You smiled too, but not for the same reason.

You waited for death to fall upon them, you waited to see blood and fire cloak Ondolindë, as you were promised.

And now, finally, your wish has been fulfilled.

Around you there is nothing but destruction. Death captures light, swallows it, and darkness triumphs. And you want nothing more, because in the darkness you are the only one to find a path. There is no more light in you, only dark.

No matter how many die today, you will not be among them. You will win, and this kingdom will be yours, when night suffocates it.

If your mother had been there, everything would have been different, your mind thinks with the last glimmer of sanity that remains. But she died - because of you - and you didn't have any weapon other than deceit.

You knew how many eyes saw you as the son of a murderer. You knew that your mistrust was reciprocated, you knew that the dark heart that was beating inside you could never find comfort in the light of this world, no matter how hard you tried. Yet you kept standing by your enemies for a while. You fought with them, you forged their weapons and the last door between them and Moringotto's[1] forces, for a few days you also managed to protect them while you were in Angamando[2].

But hatred sprouted silently, growing to cage your spirit. You smiled as if nothing touched you - and instead every look that was addressed to you was just another confirm of how strong and ardent was the light that stood between you and the world you could never have been a part of - and alone, in the night, you thought about how you could take revenge, and waited patiently for the right opportunity.

And now the moment you've been waiting for has arrived.

You are not a traitor, because you never belonged to Ondolindë, to a luminous hell where shadow finds no space. This city betrayed you the moment it took your mother away, with every whisper on your father's eyes and blood. You just chose to punish it.

And you did it. You had to give yourself to evil, but you have succeeded in your aim.

You let each scar become your strength, you let it nourish your darkness and lift you from the ashes of defeat. Now you will rise, and you will see all those who hindered you fall.

All of them, but Itarillë[3].

You could have fooled everyone but her. She, your salvation, your light. She, the one who betrayed you, throwing you into the blackest abyss when she chose to join an Atan[4] who should never have entered this city.

Tuor will die, and his son too, if he ever tries to oppose you. Even your uncle will die, he who never cared about you despite trying to win his trust, who did nothing but encourage your fall.

But she will be yours.

As it was promised to you.

All that remains is an icy, insane satisfaction. When everything is over, you know that happiness will not come, but pain will be gone. You won't really live, but at least for the first time you will be truly at home.

You watch Ondolindë burn, and the memories of the past shatter into splinters of light of no importance when you realize how sweet its destruction is.

You never had and you will never have anything you wanted.

But at least you got your revenge.

**Author's Note:**

> [1]: Morgoth
> 
> [2]: Angband
> 
> [3]: Idril
> 
> [4]: human man


End file.
